I'm No Superman

Probably one of my biggest problems is that I try to do to much because I feel like I'm supposed to be able to do everything. I get myself overwhelmed all the time because I've made too many commitments, all to good things which make me happy, are good for me, or make someone else happy. But I end up tired and stressed and sometimes I can't sleep. And as much as I hate to admit it, I have to admit, that I can't do everything. 

That's big blow to me, to admit that I can't do something, especially when the something is everything. And when I feel that way, what can make me feel better is knowing that other people can feel that way too. This song makes me feel better.

Out the door, just in time

Head down the 405

Gotta meet the new boss by 8 am

The phone rings in the car

The wife is working hard

She's running late tonight again

Well I know what I've been told

You gotta work to feed the soul

But I can't do this all on my own

No I know, that I'm no superman

I'm no superman

You've got your love online

You think you're doin fine

But youre  just plugged into the wall.

And that deck of tarot cards

Won't get you very far

There ain't no hand to break your fall.

Well I know what I've been told

You gotta know just when to fold

But I can't do this all on my own

No I know, that I'm no superman

I'm no superman

You've crossed the finish line

Won the race but lost your mind

Was it worth it after all?

I need you here with me

'Cause love is all we need

Just take a hold of the hand that breaks the fall

Well I know what I've been told

Gotta break free to break the mold

But I can't do this all on my own

No I can't do this all on my own

No I know

That I'm no 

Superman

I'm no superman

I'm no superman

(Someday we'll be together)

I'm no superman

(someday)

(someday we'll be together)

I'm no superman

(someday)

I'm no superman

Yummy? I think not.

Today's Happy Thought: Funny Internet Videos

Warning: The clips linked in this entry are varying levels of not suitable for work in most offices and require sound.

First it was Sarah and Matt. And it was funny and I give SS a lot of credit, this originally aired before the strike was resolved and she took a lot of flak from people who thought this made her a scab (it didn't). Anyway, well played from a person whose stuff I don't always like.

Then came the response from Jimmy and Ben. Way to "yes, and" for serious. Way to use one's star power (does he have star power? It must have been something to get Brad Pitt and Harrison Ford and Cameron Diaz etc. involved) to one-up what's already been done. Well-played to someone who I never pay attention to, he just went up a notch in my books.

And now there's the parody with Elizabeth and Seth. And you'd think a parody of this was going to either a) beat a dead horse b) suck or c) both. And I think the inevitable tons of parodies that will follow will do. But this is good. Fucked up, but good.

Oh and, moment of silence. Thanks.

Broke Bag Mountain

I know, that joke is so 3 years ago, but it's also clever.

So, for years, I've been carrying this plain black messenger bag I got in Target for cheap and loving it. It's plain, functional, love the pockets, and I've gotten compliments on it. It's fatal flaw is that I can just about squeeze my laptop into it, if I take everything else out. I find I have an increasing need to drag my laptop in and out of the city, whether for class, or because I want to use the time between work and one of Kris's gig efficiently, or because sometimes riding the train is the only time my brain has to itself to write things. So I've been using a promotional bag from craft that my old internship boss gave me when I first got the laptop. It's not as pockety or stylish as I'd like but it's big enough to hold my hulking behemoth of an Apple (man, do I lust for a MacBook Air) and once in a blue moon a fellow foodie notices my taste in good restaurants. Sadly, yesterday, one of the bottom corner seams busted, making this an impractical option. And I don't really love the bag enough to have it fixed. What I really want, is a new bag. Something stylish, easy to carry, big enough to fit a 16" computer and sturdy enough to carry the weight of said computer, and very importantly, affordable (my financial situation is still somewhat lamentable, but I can't let that stand in the way of the fact that carting my laptop around is kind of necessity). 

Any help here? I admit I'm asking before shopping myself, because shopping tends to make me sad about the things I can't have. I think I saw a magazine article about stylish computer bags in a magazine but I also think I'm crazy because the only magazine I ever see is Everyday with Rachael Ray and she can't have covered this topic, can she?

Oh, and, to keep with the theme, Today's Happy Thought is a used treadmill. Yesterday marks the official One Billionth Time I Looked At My Thighs in Disgust (yes, balloons rained down from the ceiling and there was a barbershop quartet and everything). I know the only thing I'm doing wrong with regard to my weight is not exercising, because I've yet to find an exercise regimen that is interesting enough to distract me from the fact that I hate to exercise. So yesterday, I decided I can either bitch forever or suck it up and find a used treadmill on craigslist, for use while watching TV because my office has enough space to house one and a tragically underused TV and because I'm always looking for ways to watch more TV and yet be more productive whilst doing so. And in even happier news, when I mentioned this to Kris, he said that he knows his mother has a treadmill that he's pretty sure never gets used anymore (seeing as they now have a Bowflex TM) and we could probably have it. So hurray for a fitness option that may finally actually work and also not cost me anything!!!!

Happy Thoughts: Snowy Weekend Edition

Happy Thoughts:

• The snow on Friday allowed me to stay in and sleep late and work all nice and cozy and warm on my couch with my feline assistant. And it was pretty. And since I didn't have to drive in it all weekend, it was OK with me. And it made Kris IMMENSELY happy. 
• The evening's entertainment consisted of a mindblowing 2 hours of the end of Season 2 of Doctor Who. There is very little in the world that makes me as excited and emotionally invested as this show does. Now, people, I do get emotionally invested in a lot of stuff to a mild degree. This was different. I was flipping out. At the end of the 1st half, the reveal was so scary I actually took my blanket and hid behind the side of the couch. By halfway through the second half, I was on my knees about 5 feet from the TV and by the end, I had sobbed. TWICE. That's good TV.
• Saturday saw my house truly cleaned for the first time in a long while. I've been busy, Kris has been sick, whatever. But we had company and now my floors are clean enough to eat off of, even if we ate at the dining room table instead.
• Saturday night I had a date with Sarah. I made a dinner which she praised to the high heavens, along with the condition of my home. It is always nice to have someone appreciate the things that you do. We talked and laughed and had fun and she took a bunch of pictures. Then we saw a really good minimalist production of All's Well That Ends Well at a local community theater and ended the night with girltalk and muffins in the diner. Huzzah for best friends! 
• Yesterday was Movie Day. I managed to get some work done early and make another batch of scones. Then Kris took me out to see Be Kind Rewind which was charming and lovely in the Michel Gondry way. A great little movie about people who love movies. Like me. Then home for the tail end of E!'s 8 hour marathon of Oscar coverage before the main event. The show is always mediocre and I don't get why people complain about it anymore. But I was very happy with the way the awards shook out. My top 3 moments were the Best Song lady who got to come back out to give her thanks, Diablo Cody being clearly overwhelmed by her win, and The Coens snagging the double win. (And of course, proof of the existence of God, Norbit and Transformers not taking home gold.)
• A positive spin on some bad crap that happened: Since bad things happen in threes, I am hoping that now that I bruised the hell out of my right shin falling down the stairs, gave myself a deep cut on my right middle finger with the sharp part of a tin can, and had my car not want to start this morning, I am hoping that this streak is over and I can go catastrophe-free for a bit. At least till I'm healed :)

Happy Thoughts: Holiday Weekend Edition

Here's a little something for those of you lucky ones who work for large companies that acknowledge national holidays and are therefore home today, lazing around the internet, looking for stuff to read. Not that I'm BITTER.

For a weekend that was supposed to feature me spending 4 days on a Caribbean beach with a drink in one hand and a book in the other (but did not because paying one's accountant is a more responsible use of funds), it did end up having a few bright spots that made it OK that I wasn't.

• We surprised the crap out of Kris's sister by driving down to South Jersey for her birthday. Even though the celebration was low key, she was extremely happy to see us and I think we made what might have been an unremarkable birthday a little brighter. Plus she genuinely loved our gifts, a game she's been dying to have but denying herself because she's saving every penny for the baby, and a certificate for a prenatal massage.
  
• Whilst in SJ, we went out to rent a movie to watch during said low-key party. Outside the video store, we sat in the car, talking about something or other, when I suddenly sensed a presence right outside my window. I turned (and gasped) to find The Infamous Sean Doyle glaring into the car. Once we spotted him, he smiled, waved, got back in his car with his mother, and took off. Not only did we laugh for a good 5 minutes over this, but it was a nice example of why visiting SJ is nice. You can run into a great character like Sean for 10 seconds and it brightens your day.
• Upon our return from SJ, we decided to hit up Joe's 30th Beerthday (hee) celebration. Having RSVPed in the negative, it was yet another pleasing surprise appearance. And we ended up having a really good time, making up for some of the duller moments of the day. Plus Kris really seems to be comfortable with my friends now. It's about time, but it's nice to see.
• Sunday afternoon meant lounging in luxury at the house Sarah was housesitting, with Sarah herself and the two cutest dogs in history. Very nice to be forced to relax on leather couches, in a house with radiant heat and channels I don't get, chatting with my best friend and watching a movie that's completely on crack.
• When I finally got home to my man, he effortlessly cheered me up about the things that happened this weekend that were not so great by letting me kick his butt in a few games of Scene It and feeding me his delectable pasta sauce, and then mocking the hell out of the American Gladiator grand finale. Not a bad way to end a weekend.
• It may mean the planet is coming to an end on Thursday, but I'll be damned if I don't enjoy some Unseasonably Warm Weather whenever it comes along.

And Then There Was Awesome

I'm sure Valentine's Day will yield much better than this. But this is a pretty good start.

Dun da-dun dah, dun da-dun, dun da-dun DAH, dun da-Dun! Dun! Dun!

Valentine's Day Edition

Yeah, it's a little early, but I hope to be occupied with better things than the internet tomorrow.

That being said, Today's Happy Thought is my relationship. Yeah, it's mushy and gross. Whatever. I love it. With as many screwed up, unhappy couples there are out there, and as infinitely more miserable, confused singles as there are, it is a miracle that I find myself attached to a man like this. We are not the same and we are not happy all the time. But we are perfect together. I get him, he gets me. We don't fight, we figure it out. We do stuff together. Sometimes it is fancy, smart, cool stuff. Sometimes it is spending a freezing Sunday on the couch with Mike Nelson, Tom Servo, and Crow. Sometimes it is downright ridiculous and silly. Seriously, if you got to see some of these moments, you'd be like, who are these people? We work. And we always will. He makes me not be so freakin' tightly wound about everything and helps me believe in myself. And I like to think that I have opened up his world and taught him a thing or two. Of course I should be telling this all to him, but you know, really? I do. All the time. The best thing is not just that we are in such a good relationship but that we both know and acknowledge it.

The other night he sat down with me while he was waiting for dinner to finish cooking. Having had something of a frustrating couple of days, I pounced, telling him about all the stupid little bullshit that pissed me off and the non-interesting tidbits of info I came across throughout the day. He zoned out and even looked like he might be a little upset. So I stopped and asked:

"Honey, are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you looking into your future and fearing another 50 or  60 years of me nattering on endlessly at you about nothing in particular?"

And then he laughed. And then I laughed. And that is a picture of a perfect couple.

Happy Valentine's Day.

It's Almost Over

This week has been a difficult one and I've been kind of unhappy for a good part of it. But some things happened to kind of turn it around, so now it's time to post.

Today's Happy Thoughts

• I will be getting paid on schedule this week. Believe it or not, this was in question. I work for a very small company with a very casual atmosphere. This has many advantages. One disadvantage is that if the person who does payroll is out of town on payday, he feels he can defer payment until he gets back. Much to the relief of my dwindling bank account, I have relieved him of this notion.
• The lead singer of Schocholautte does not hate my video proposal as I was starting to believe. Due to technical difficulties, he has been unable to email me his thoughts on it. But he relayed to me through Kris that he does like the idea and wants to discuss it further. I can officially extract myself from my downward spiral of self-hatred.
• This week, which has been pretty full of suck (though not completely without its highlights), is almost over. 
• Sarah has been feeding me things to cheer me up which are brilliant. Like this. 
• I am at the point in my continuing effort to be more positive, where I can have a week like this and resist the urge to make a whiny blog post about it.