Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Dear Universe,

I need a favor. I feel like it's asking a lot, but I also feel like I need to learn when to ask for help and I need help so: help.

Twice in the past 24 hours I have completely lost my shit. Once was over what to do for dinner and the other was over a missed doctor's appointment. Minor things, really. But sending me into a crying, spiraling freakout. I haven't been this unstable in a while. In fact I've been really proud of how stable I've become. But, you know. 2 jobs. The play. The band. Buying a house. It's a lot to deal with. I have almost no time to myself. I have almost no room for error. I have almost no capacity to deal with anything that's not already on the table.

So here's the favor. I need you to not throw me any curveballs right now. I just can't take it. I can handle what I've got and I feel like that's rather impressively a lot right now. But that's it. Whether it be the freezer not shutting properly and staying open all day, or having to scramble to keep myself stocked up with birth control pills, I need that stuff to not happen. I need the day-to-day stuff to be easy. I need you to STOP IT with the crazy unexpected problems because I ain't got no room for it and it will turn me into a hysterical blubbering lunatic. And a hysterical blubbering lunatic is not very useful when trying to handle the 75 things I already have to deal with on a daily basis. 

Got it? Thanks, so much. This is only temporary, until things ease up. I'm thinking by the beginning of next year I'll be ready to handle whatever crazy shit you have to throw at me. 

Thanks a million tons,
~me

1 comment:

Cherub Hipster, RN said...

There is this great law of attraction exersice called "Universal manager" I think. You divide a piece of paper in half vertically. On the top of one side you put "Me". On the top of the other side you put "Universal manager". Then you make a to do list on each side. You put down the things you need to do, and then things you are going to let the universal manager do. Supposedly it helps you relax about getting everything done, or worry about how things will play out less. It might help, even if you do it in your mind..